ANTs…

No, I’m not referring to insects, but let me start from the beginning.

I was talking to one of my coworkers recently about my next book release. I’ll admit I’m more of a nervous wreck this time around than I was for the previous five. As I mentioned in a previous post, The Caein Legacy was written from the heart, and for that reason alone, this release is more exciting—and more terrifying—than any of those that came before.

I love this story so damned much. But is it good enough? Does it live up to the cover artwork I commissioned? (And that artwork is stunning on the paperbacks, by the way.) Will avid readers of the fantasy genre actually like this book and series?

My mind was spiraling, and I didn’t know how to rein in my anxiety as we spoke. Since I finished writing Exile in the summer of 2019, I have dreamed of seeing it in print. This is the book I was querying for more than two years. This is the book that got me back into writing again. This is the book that is nearest to my heart. I am thrilled to have my proof copies in hand, but the questions continue to nag at me.

What if it’s not good enough? What if everyone hates it? What if? What if? What if?

My coworker stopped me and said, “There’s something I do that will help.” She told me about automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) and how she deals with them. This is exactly what I was experiencing.

Identifying the ANTs is the first step, and confronting them is the second. When I ask myself if it’s good enough, I have to remind myself that my editor (who isn’t averse to giving critical feedback) enjoyed the story. My beta readers enjoyed the story. Even my mother, who has not read most of my books, has read this series in its entirety (albeit before it was revised and edited properly.) If it held her interest where most of my other stuff did not, maybe this ANT is taken care of.

When I ask if it lives up to the cover artwork, well… That’s a bit trickier. But the fact is, the art for Exile was taken from a specific scene in the book. I’ve used that scene as the teaser for the book and it has been available on my blog for over two years (you can read it here: Teaser from Exile). And the feedback I’ve received on that scene has been good. So this ANT may be squashed too.

Will avid readers of fantasy enjoy this book? I guess time will tell, but again, my beta readers are primarily readers of fantasy so, hopefully that means it’s a yes. I guess we’ll find out in a few weeks.

But now, I know how to recognize my own ANTs and can deal with them accordingly. Maybe, just maybe, that means I’ll sleep the night before this book releases.

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If you’d like to learn more about ANTs and how to deal with them, I found a couple links that seem useful:

• Identifying Negative Automatic Thought Patterns – Harvard University Stress & Development Lab
• 9 Types of ANTs and How to Exterminate Them – The Center for Collaborative Awareness