Tales from the Lab #12: The Unicorn

Once upon a time, in a chemistry lab not so far away…

Two of my colleagues were struggling with analytical equipment behaving badly. The instrument in question was the oldest in the lab, and in its twilight years had begun to decline. In the stubbornness of its old age, it refused to pass its system standard checks.

The trouble was, it was the only instrument in the lab capable of running a critical test. Its shiny, new replacement had not yet arrived to dazzle the chemists with its calibrated splendor. In fact, the replacement was trapped in a warehouse awaiting shipment, and would not be present to complete the testing in time to appease those mysterious figures known only as Quality Assurance.

The chemists attempted the few repairs they could, prepared the samples, and hoped for the best. The instrument could not fail them again.

And yet, it did. It analyzed the standards without precision or regard for its human counterparts’ anxiety levels. It refused to cooperate. It was old and cantankerous, and would not be persuaded to change its ways.

One of the chemists went home for the weekend, frustrated by the instrument’s continued refusal to play nicely. As a diversion, they tinkered with a 3D-printer and created a magical creature. A unicorn.

The unicorn traveled to the lab the following Monday, and perched atop a cabinet facing the troublesome instrument. It observed the work of the chemists as they attempted to wrangle the instrument, their nemesis, into submission. The unicorn remained silent and watched, but did not intervene.

Or did it?

Under the watchful eye of the lab’s new denizen, the instrument performed as it had in its youth. The chemists deemed the unicorn a harbinger of good luck, and it found a permanent home on the cabinet overlooking the instrument. In the days that followed, there were no further failed standard analyses, and the unicorn obtained its own newfound renown: GLITTER.

I know it’s been a few months since I last posted a Tales from the Lab blog, but I’d run out of decent stories for a time. With the addition of the lab unicorn at my current workplace, it gave me a new theme to write about. This story is based loosely on actual events from a few weeks ago. Whether the unicorn played any true role in the success of the instrument or not is up to the reader to decide.

While the unicorn resides in the chemistry lab down the hall from where I work in micro, I was the one responsible for the addition of the glitter. It came at the request of the chemists when they learned I had some at home.

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Thanks for reading this week’s post! You can read previous Tales from the Lab posts here: Tales from the Lab