Dealing with negative reviews

Every writer is going to get them from time to time, since writing is subjective, but negative reviews can hurt and really derail your day—if you let them.

Some authors never look at their reviews, and that’s definitely one way to cope with the negatives. But there are others whose curiosity won’t leave well enough alone, and they read all of their reviews, whether they’re good or bad. I fall into the latter camp (fortunately or unfortunately, I’m not sure.)

So how I do deal with those negative reviews?

My first response is to vent privately (although my bearded dragon, Zayne, is always there to overhear. Thankfully, he has agreed to keep what he hears to himself.) Discussing it in private with my husband or close friends sometimes helps too. Venting doesn’t always improve my mindset though, especially if I thoroughly disagree with what was said.

My second response is to either take a walk or swim laps for a while. Physical activity almost always calms me down, no matter how worked up I get. If “rage swimming” is a thing, I’ve done it often enough in the last six months (though not usually due to book stuff. It’s typically the result of other things going on in my life.)

And if rage swimming or walking doesn’t help, I go into the folder I keep of good things that have happened. The positive reviews, the fan mail/art, the screenshots of social media posts from people who enjoy my work. It forces me to remember that there are people who love my books, no matter how bad the latest negative review was.

And if that review hits on a day that’s particularly bad otherwise? I resort to baking (usually something with chocolate.) It takes my mind off things, and chocolate will make the day better.

But, on occasion, something really rankles and my mind can’t let it go. When that happens, I resort to writing. Sometimes a different story, sometimes a blog post, sometimes just a rambling piece that I’ll delete 5 minutes later… Writing is cathartic and helps me process things.

What I don’t do?

I don’t share any of my thoughts on social media. I am a firm believer in the mantra, “Don’t feed the trolls,” and by posting reactions to reviews, I’d be garnering their attention. I don’t want that; I’m as conflict-averse as they come.

I also don’t contact the reviewer directly. The only time I interact with any review is if they tag me on socials, and then I just say, “Thanks for reading,” and go on with my day. (Unfortunately, a tag makes me feel obligated to respond no matter what sort of review it is.) While it’s hard to just say thanks and move on, I think it’s the most professional way to go about it.

And above all, I don’t let those negative reviews prevent me from writing. I believe my characters’ stories are worth telling, and I’m the only one who can tell them.