It’s a Roller Coaster

Sometimes being an author is weird. There’s a lot of time spent daydreaming, lost inside your own head, but that’s not what I want to talk about here. No, I want to—need to—talk about the fact that putting your work out there is simultaneously the most amazing thing in the universe, while it can also be the most soul-crushing, heartbreaking endeavor there is.

There’s a lot of lackluster response from people who are (often) really close to you. I’m excited about my writing projects and all the work I’ve put in, and it 100% makes my day when a friend or family member takes even a remote interest. But the fact is, those moments are usually few and far between. There’s a lot of, “Oh, that’s nice,” and awkward silences from people when you start to talk (or sometimes gush) about your books.

At first the lukewarm comments were hard to take, but I’ve gotten past that. I know that fantasy and science-fiction isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and not everyone likes to read even half as much as I do.

But hitting that publish button, or sending out the ARC email? Even after eleven books, doing either one of those things turns me into a jangling ball of nerves that wants to do nothing but crawl under my desk and hide for a few months. Waiting for feedback is hard. Not knowing if people are going to *get* my stories is harder.

But when they do? When they not only understand the characters and what you’ve put them through, but also take the time to tell you about it? It’s the best damned feeling in the world.

I’m not saying every review or interaction I’ve had with a reader has been positive. I’ve had my share of criticisms, and while those can sometimes sting, I’ve learned to move on. Not everyone is going to like my books, and I’ve known that from the start. There is LGBTQ+ content in many (some more than others), I write in first-person a lot (because I love getting into my characters’ heads), my characters swear (some more than others—I’m looking at you, Owen), and there is a purposeful lack of real-world religion in my stories. I know that some of these elements—or all of them, as the case may be—won’t appeal to some readers. And that’s okay.

So when someone not only reads one of my books, but enjoys it enough to say something, it means more than they’ll ever realize. And it’s those positive interactions and comments that keep me going.

The life of an author isn’t that different from riding a roller coaster. There are just as many ups as downs, and more twists and turns along the way than I’ve managed to keep track of. But without those bits of positivity along the way, I would have quit a long time ago.

I guess what I’m trying to say with this long, rambling post is that I appreciate all of you who have taken the time to say something about my writing. Whether it’s a review, a comment, a private message, or just words of encouragement, those are the things that keep me on this path. Without them—without you—I’d be nothing.

So, thank you.