The Worldbuilder Diaries: The First 30%
For most fantasy and science fiction books, a lot of worldbuilding is required. And by the 30% mark, my goal is for the reader to be fully immersed in that fictional world.
But I also don’t like to share too much information too quickly. It can be overwhelming for a reader unfamiliar with the book’s world, particularly if those details aren’t relative to what is taking place on-page at that moment. I try my best to strike a balance.
I’m going to use Serpentus as an example of how I go about this process. Some of you reading this will know why I’ve chosen to highlight this book (and specifically the first 30% of its content) in this post today. For those who don’t know what I’m referring to, I’m sorry, but I am not going to elaborate on the situation here.
Serpentus is one of my shorter books, coming in at 252 pages for the print versions. Doing the math, that 30% mark equates to 75.6 pages (we’ll call it 76 for simplicity’s sake.) Page 76 is the beginning of chapter 10, so my breakdown of the worldbuilding will only comprise the first 9 chapters.
Chapter 1:
I’m setting the stage…
The main character, Owen, is introduced. He’s a knight, and was sent to the city of Stone Hill to prepare it for a potential attack. They know an army of “Hooded Ones” is marching toward the city, but it hasn’t arrived yet. Owen doesn’t have any previous experience with them and only knows them based on stories. On top of that, there’s supposedly a sea monster in the nearby lake, but with siege preparations underway, it’s something he can’t do much about. Owen decides to order an evacuation of the docks and have everyone brought into the city. Stone Hill is walled and should be defensible, but with limited resources and time, it’s the best he can do.
A few references to the world’s various gods are made in this chapter as well, such as Maelstrom (the storm god), Karmada (the goddess of luck), and Bladmeon (the god of war.)
Chapter 2:
This focuses on more siege preparations and some discussions with a city guardsman (Cam) regarding the nature of the sea monster in the lake. With the docks empty and everyone inside the city, they’re just waiting for what comes next and doing their best to keep the people of the city from panicking.
Chapter 3:
Stone Hill is under siege by an army of thousands. They appeared abruptly, thanks to the mages who lead them. With the aid of a spyglass, Owen can see the army of “Hooded Ones” is comprised of a non-human species, but he doesn’t know what they are. There is some speculation, but no one in Stone Hill has encountered these people before.
Chapter 4:
The battle begins, but since they’re outnumbered and have no magic of their own to defend the city with, Stone Hill is overrun. Owen is injured in the attack, and temporarily blinded by the effects of the attackers’ magic. He’s rounded up, along with the other survivors, and they’re taken prisoner. It’s at this point he realizes the mages he saw weren’t any ordinary mages, but the Soulless servants of the Nameless god (the god of death.) The Soulless want the prisoners killed, but the Murkor (those known as the “Hooded Ones”) bargain for their lives by promising to conscript them for the war effort.
Chapter 5:
Owen and the human prisoners are taken to the Murkor stronghold. They’re a cave-dwelling, mostly nocturnal race, and very few of them speak the human language. Despite injuries, they’re expected to work (though the most severe injuries are treated first.) Not only is Owen dealing with his conscription, but he must overcome a language barrier with the alchemist he’s assigned to assist.
He also learns the Murkor aren’t free, either, and their situation is complex.
Chapter 6:
Owen begins to learn more about the Murkor as he heals and begins to work with the alchemist, Aj’ana. Their culture is vastly different than his own and follows a caste system. They’re also very private people and cover up their faces in public, but can be identified by the colors they wear and the tattoos on their hands.
He learns that among the other prisoners are two knights like himself, and they’re set on getting vengeance…if they can somehow escape the caverns.
Chapter 7:
Aj’ana tasks Owen with a duty he finds pretty distasteful and tries to argue against (it doesn’t work.) Some of the other prisoners are Scorpion Men, another non-human species in this world. The alchemists covet their venom, but extracting it can be difficult for them—and humiliating for the proud prisoners.
Chapters 8 and 9:
Under the guise of requiring more understanding to properly do his assigned job, Owen convinces Aj’ana to begin teaching him the Murkor language. As he learns more about his captors, he begins to formulate plans for escape.
This isn’t even half of what readers will encounter in this book. Around the midway point, there’s a scene that has gained a certain notoriety, and it explains not only how the Scorpion Men came into being, but demonstrates the sort of power the Soulless are capable of. I’ll leave it at that for now.
The recent claims regarding the worldbuilding presented in this book were very clearly made after reading only Chapter 1. I understand very well that this book isn’t for every reader; there’s strong language at times, and it’s written in 1st person, which is a turn-off for some. But my hope is that by sharing this, Serpentus will find the right audience—one that will give it more than 9 pages of their time.